Namaste!

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Tired from a long day at work, I was easily irritated when my 10-year old son, William, procrastinated and protested bedtime. Finally, in his room (an hour later than usual) he continued resisting sleep by calling out random questions from his bed. When I gruffly insisted he stop talking, my voice cracked and William chuckled. This further aggravated me.

“Quiet!” I snapped. His giggle grew stronger.

“I’m serious!” I barked. More laughter.

I then marched into his room to launch a final warning and found William under the covers desperately trying to muffle his hysterics. Somehow this softened me and within minutes we both had tears of laughter (and probably tears of stress) streaming down our faces.

This turned out to be just what the doctor ordered.

Instead of finishing my nightly chores, I sat down and cuddled with William. My tense body calmed, my exasperation vanished, and I felt loving. This short time of relaxation allowed us to feel more connected– to each other and ourselves.

Peacefully, sleep arrived.

Love and anger are not just states of mind or emotional states. The both have direct effects on the physical body and overall health.

The fact is that agitated states like anger and stress initiate the fight-or-flight reaction which tenses the body, raises blood pressure, speeds and shortens respiration, and can cause us to experience a clear psychological distance from others. We actually release hormones that help us further protect and armor ourselves against perceived threats and danger; against the agitator - the ‘other’.

On the flip side, feelings of love can reduce tension, decrease blood pressure, lengthen and slow breathing, and help soften the division between one person and another. In short, when we feel more loving or grateful we actually release hormones that help us to relax as well as connect more deeply with others.

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There is plenty of scientific research substantiating how love can benefit us physically, emotionally, mentally, as well as socially!

However, when most of us consider love – being in it, having it, experiencing it--we think of it as something that is dependent on our relationships and conditions with others. This viewpoint can make love a difficult and endless journey.

Instead, a path of self-love has been considered the path of healing and transformation for centuries.

The yogic ‘love story’ is an inner one; not dependent on others or transitory conditions. Yoga is a path of cultivating a deep sense of oneness with our selves, then with others, and with life itself. Yoga is in fact considered the journey to remembering our true nature, which is said to be a union; love itself.

For 2500 years, the ancient Buddhist practice of Metta meditation has been used to cultivate an enduring sense of compassion, friendliness and unconditional love for the self and others. As one practices regularly, self-imposed limitations of love begin to melt away.

Over the past several years, as meditation research has grown prevalent, science has become interested in the effects of Metta practice on the mind and the body. The Dalai Lama, The Mind Life Institute, The Harvard School of Mind Body Medicine along with many leading mind-body medicine professionals have research to substantiate that Metta Meditation not only offers similar benefits to other forms of meditation (such as breath meditation or open-awareness meditation) but also a variety of additional unique benefits that are subtly different from other kinds of meditation.

Metta has been shown to increase social connectedness, even for strangers. A study conducted by a group of researchers from Stanford University found that in just seven minutes of metta, subjects reported greater social connection toward others.

The more we practice for ourselves, the more we increase our potential to have a more nourishing impact on all those we come into contact with. As Pema Chodron teaches, “…what you do for yourself--any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself--will affect how you experience your world. What you do for yourself, you're doing for others… and what you do for others, you're doing for yourself.”

This is the ultimate Valentine.

So this month’s issue of Yogalicious and all my blog posts in February will celebrate love and include lots of research, practices and inspiration to leave you feeling warm and open all winter long!

WITH BIG LOVE

Jillian

“When we replace ‘I’ with ‘We’ even Illness becomes Wellness.”

Research Highlights on Metta Meditation: Loving Kindness Practice

Metta meditation reduces distress in the mind and inflammation in the body, improves immune system function and can be a potent pain reliever.

The practice of Metta led to shifts in people's daily experiences of a wide range of positive emotions, including love, joy, gratitude, contentment, hope, pride, interest, amusement and awe. These shifts in positive emotions were linked to increases in a variety of personal resources, including mindful attention, self-acceptance, positive relationships with others and good physical health... They enabled people to become more satisfied with their lives and to experience fewer symptoms of depression.

Neuroscientific meditation research concluded that Metta changed several important brain regions: both the insula and the temporal parietal junction (TPJ) lit up as a result of Metta. The insula is the part of the brain responsible for our ability to empathize with others, and to make oneself aware of emotional and physical present-moment experiences. And these meditators also experienced higher levels of compassion than the non-practicing group as well as increased our ability to attune to the emotional states of others.